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Karin's Near Death Experience |
A True Story by Karin K. 2002 |
Copyright Protected by Karin K.© 2002 |
Part I - My Near Death Experience |
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"This is of course the accounting of my own experience, which I was asked to write for Barbara, and a few others who wanted to know about my NDE. I have also given permission to Cos to put it up on her website.
For just a brief history: I was 18, and working for a man who owned racehorses, along with a few show jumpers. He needed someone to work his jumpers over low jumps for training, and I became that person. It was August, 1965, and I was working one of the horses over a low double oxer, when he slipped, crashing through the first half of the jump, sending me sprawling over his head,and through the second half. As I took that free-fall, I could see
the horse falling on me, and my first thought was, "I'm dead."
It was strange to be outside the body. I was just a bit above the body, and saw the horse fall on it. I was told later that he did not fall on me with his full weight, or I would most certainly not be here today. But my first reaction was total confusion. I knew the body was mine, but I could not understand how I could be viewing it. I saw the horse, shaken, but unhurt, head out a few feet,and the people running.
None of this made any sense to
me, to since I was raised to believe that when you died, you went to sleep and were awakened by God, for the final judgement. Being outside the body, and having senses is not what I was taught, and out of curiosity, (and for a lack of anything more in understanding) I watched as the paramedics came in, and started working on the body. I got real close and studied their faces; grim, and still they continued to do what they could. I watched the body
take a couple of shallow breaths. Strange, it was alive, but I was here. Again, it made no sense. There was this weird detachment, like watching something that you had just sold being loaded into someone else's car.. Loss, but no regret; no fear.
I stayed with the body, still totally perplexed and confused. "Wasn't I supposed to be met by angels, or dead relatives, or something? What is this? Is this what its all about, just wandering around
in space with no where to go?" I watched the body; a few more labored breaths...and then the heart monitor fluttered. I heard the one paramedic holler, "Move it...we're loosing her!" One more labored breath, and the heart monitor went flat...no more breaths. The paramedics were frantic, pumping oxygen and using the paddles to re-start the heart. I watched them working so franticly on this body, like their very lives depended upon it, and I
couldn't help but wonder what all the fuss was about. Why was that body so important to them? It wasn't me....I was here, and I was just fine.
Well, let's see; they got the heart started again, but there was no breathing. They had to keep pumping the air in by hand. It all seemed so fruitless to me. I considered the body gone...but I didn't know where I was going from here. It was about that time I became aware of a very bright light. The
nearest that I can describe it, was a sort of white-out, like someone turning the lights on slowly, so slowly, untill everything else was screened out, and there was only the light. |
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Part II - Into the Light |
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The "whiteout" that I experienced as the body was being taken and tended by the doctors in the hospital was also not something that I was expecting, having been raised to believe that we all just went to sleep and woke up when God called us to judgement at the Rapture. There was no tunnel, no humming noise, just this incredable light that encompassed me, like a fog rolling in from the ocean. It got brighter and brighter, until there was nothing to
see.....but I "sensed" another presence with me, and then another, and yet another.
As the light cleared, I found myself in a place that one cannot even describe as a "place" in the physical sense. Everything eminated a life force. It was not solid or physical. It was as if it was created by light, itself. The beings there with me were so familiar, but I knew that I had never met them in my physical life. It is like knowing a person without ever
having known their name,or anything else about them. They were simply a part of your life at one point. I studied them in complete confusion, and they also seemed to be made of that same, soul piercing light. There were no real features about them, as if they were in constant movement and motion, but they understood my fear and confusion, and they in turn imparted to me a sense of peace, and I understood that I was quite safe, and I could "feel" them
more than "see" them.
My expectations for my own body seemed to be whatever I expected. If I expected to see a hand, I saw a hand. It was if my body were also fluid, and the same as their own. Without words (and this is the part that is hardest to describe) they asked me if I was prepared to see what I had done with the physical life so far. I didn't feel like it, but I had the idea that there was no way I was going to avoid it. Suddenly, it was
there, all around me. It was similar to an I-Max theatre compared to a tv set. I saw in amazement my own physical body, from the time I was a little girl, a baby, really, and it looked so strange to me...almost "ugly" in a sense. I watched as that little girl developed angry thoughts that hurt others, and as they flowed, so did the way that they hurt others. It was as if I "became" those others. I could feel what they were feeling, the same as
they felt it. As the body grew, and the ugly thoughts became more intense, and became physical, so did the pain that they inflicted. I understood. What we do is what we feel when we cross. The loving thoughts and actions were there too........and the pleasure and joy that they brought to others made the intense feeling of oneness with my companion entities ever stronger.
We do not escape what we do to the animals either. If we have hurt or harmed
them, we feel that the same as they felt it. There were many animal spirits present, as if in a way to tell me that, "Yes, we survive here too." But they departed quickly, as if it was not important to what was going on with me at the time. The strangest part of the life review, is the complete melding of you with the other entity. You become them; you become them and at the same time, you are still yourself. We can't do that on the Earth plane.
I don't have any accurate way to describe it.
There was no sense of time. I understood my past incarnations, and my present. It was like being plugged into some huge computer that downloaded everything that you questioned, within limits. I was shown my past incarnations, and the lessons that I derrived of them (yes, we do cross over male to female..that is why we often exhibit the traits of both) and asked if I chose to stay or to go back to the
body. I wondered if there was a choice. Instantly, I was standing next the doctor that was busy with the body. He had the back open, and was repairing ribs and removing small pieces of damaged tissue. Crush injuries; punctured lungs, broken vertabrea in the lower back, compressed intestestines and surrounding organs. It seems that the body was just hanging in there, like a car in idle, waiting for the driver to drive it, or turn the key and shut
it off. I couldn't believe how fragile it seemed. Why would I choose to go back and suffer what I knew was going to be tremendous pain? As instantaneously as I had that question, I understood that everything that I was yet to learn, and to pass on to others, was as important to their lives and learning as it was to my own. There was no question of going back or not. I must. It was what I had promised to do...teach others. I had but an instant,
and then I was spiraling downward. You know that sensation that you get when you are dreaming that you are falling? Well, that was it, but I hit the bottom, and it was quite a jolt. The pain hit at the same time.
Next: What happened when I woke up, what I remembered and how it changed me....the long road to physical recovery. |
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Part III - Recovery |
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This must be what it it was like for those people who were buried alive.
I have opened my eyes, but it is dark. I cannot move my legs, and when I try to raise my hands, the pain is a reminder that I now have a physical body. Everything feels like a lead weight. I am not breathing. There is something that is forcing air into my lungs, and then back out again, and it hurts. Oh boy, does it hurt! My midsection feels like there is an elephant sitting on it. Each forced breath is like a knife stab. Is there some way I
can just drift away from all of this? I feel trapped, and I am powerless to free myself.
Someone is calling my name: at least, I think it supposed to be my name. Is that how I am called? Must be, because now they are touching my arm, and being insistant. More sounds, but they are not making any sense. If I could only understand what that person is saying! The darkness is clearing a bit. I can make out shapes. Light and dark, yes, and there is a person calling to me and encouraging me to respond to them. I just want to be left
alone. I want to go back where I was, where there was no pain, and the light was so beautiful. I don't want to be here, right now. Stop picking at me, for God's sake! Leave me alone! I close my eyes again to blot out the shapes and shadows. No, no, I am told, I have to wake up and respond to the jibberish. It immediately occurs to me how slow the human brain is...how long it takes to process speech. It also occurs to me that if I had a rock, and
the ability to throw it, I would....dead aim. The words start to make sense..."Are you in pain?" I raise a hand... You can't tell? Oh, that's right, you are in a place now where they don't feel what you feel. Yes, I'm in pain! "OK, I'm going to have your surgeon give you some pain meds." Forget the pain meds, lady...get me up! Get this *thing* out of my throat, it's driving me crazy! It feels like drownding, only I'm getting air. The nurse
comes in and injects something into the tube hanging over my head. I stop fighting the respirator. It feels good, not to fight it. I go back to sleep.
I wake up and I am looking squarely into a face that I recognize. It is the doctor that I saw working on me in the OR, when I was asking about going back. I don't know how I recognize him, I just do. It is like I could see past the mask that he was wearing, and I knew his features. He tells me that it is time to see if my lungs can work on their own. Sounds good to me. The process was not an easy one, but at least I was free, even if breathing was
just as painful as the respirator. At least now I can wisper. "Thank you," I wisper to him. He gives me a weak smile. "Thank you for working so hard in the OR," I continue, "OR three, wasn't it?" For a moment, the man's eyes bulged. He seemed to have lost some blood out of his face. "ut oh, I think to myself, I said something that upset him...." He looked in confusion to the other nurses in the room. They shake their heads "no," as if to say
that they never said anything about the OR to me. He pats me gently on the arm and leaves, promising to be back the next morning.
Two days later, the paramedic that I studied up close comes in to see his "miracle" save. I recognize him immediately. I call him by name. There go the eyes again. There goes that drained face look! When am I going to learn to keep my mouth shut? He chats for a moment, and then leaves with an excuse that he is still on duty. I know he just wants to get out of there.
By day three (at least day three after I came to) there is buzzing about the girl in 310 that saw things that she was not supposed to have seen....she was "dead" at the time, after all. It isn't too long before a special doctor comes in to talk to me. I know he's from the second floor, and I know better than to talk about what happened. I tell him I think that I dreamed it all. That seems to make him happy. A couple of days later, when I am
getting my first solid food, I get a visit from a Dr. Raymond Moody. He tells me that he has talked to a dozen or more people that have had similar experiences, and not to be afraid to tell him about my own. I try, but it is hard to explain. I never made his book, you realize, because I didn't have the tunnel experience, and I didn't go to a physical place, or talk to dead relatives. This was not what he was working on at the time.
A day or two later, my parents arrive from New Jersey. My mother assures me that it was all in my head, and that I did indeed dream it.
Next....Recovering, and keeping the connection with my spirit guides |
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Part IV - Spirit Connections |
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This is very close to what I came to understand. Ho boy! How to describe this?
In sports, we have team players, and individual achievers. We can call the vegetation "team players." The higher forms of our earth life, as team, but individuals. Humans are strict "individual achievers." So, while you might not be able to communicate directly with the carrot, you can talk to the "vegetation coach." This is the entity who is above, but connected to the plant world. This entity is the sum and the substance of the life that we
call, vegatable. When a tree dies, its life force is absorbed and incorporated into the "team." The insects and the lower animals have a sense of "self," but at the same time, they are part and parcel of their own "team." Their life forces are also incorporated into the "team," but they reinhabit with a sense of "self," the same as before. Our higher animals have a very strong sense of self, but understand the team concept. Human entities are
singular and while they are very connected to the astral team, loose that direct connection when they inhabit a physical body. They become very isolated in their individual physical bodies. The sense of self advances itself above all else." |
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Note: If you have a story to tell about a Near Death Experience or any kind of out-of-body, please drop us a line at forum cosmeta.com. -- We would be happy to place it here so that others may gain from your experience.
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